Punky Puffer!

"I still wanna be friends though..." Ahh, the infamous words from the guy who wants to let us down gently. In my life I've been the dumper and the dumpee in relationships. I've let em down gently and I've also been known to pull the ole cold shoulder trick. I've written more "i wanna break up with you" letters than I care to admit...but never have I ever said, "I still want to be friends!" Never. In guy code, generally, "You're a great friend," really means, "We had great sex and while I have zero emotional commitment to you, I'd still like to rail you as often as possible." I don't exactly think this sentiment comes with matching best friend braclets. Is it possible to be friends with an ex? Sure. Once you're both over eachother and have moved on, and can confidently and non-ackwardly discuss your new lovahs! However, I've noticed that guys, those sneaky bastards, like to swoop on in with the "friend" move almost as soon as they dump your ass. While you're still listening to Pink's "I'm still a Rockstar" on repeat and have barely dried your tears, homeboy sends you a text that reads, "I need your opinion on something."Puff.
Well since we ARE friends, sure, I'll give you my opinion on something...what is it, clothes, food, new job? And here it comes, said dbag says, "So I've been talking this girl and-----" Before you can even fight through comprehending the rest of that sentence, you are instantly brought down to Punky Brewster level. You're like "kid sister," except you just saw this dude naked 2 weeks ago. Vomit. Puff. He wants to know YOUR opinion on why his new skinny bitch of the month doesn't respond to all of his texts, or doesn't want to meet his family, whatever it is.... And this, ladies, this is when it's decision time. To have any kind of relationship, you should have been friends first? Right!? So, as his friend, you could suck it up and give him your opinion. Well, Punky Effing Brewster, SCUHHRREEEWWW that! Lemme break it down for ya:
Boy breaks up with you.
"Let's be friends"
Boy meets new girl..aka...skinny bitch (they're all skinny bitches)
New girl doens't like boy so much
Boy comes to you for advice
You politely give him advice
New girl breaks up with boy anyway because he's a dbag
Boy runs back to you, sad, needing affection
AND BAM...you wake up naked, knowing your BFF just used you for rebound sex!
See how that works. PUFF.
So, before we go being accessible sex to ur ex boyfriends, let's think twice about what it really means...and let's hold off on matching BFF Bracelets. De-puff.