The Puffer....at Work

One. There's always one. One person, or in my case,one politically confused, ocassionally anorexic but would die for an m&m, judgemental, alcoholic woman by the name of....Are you kidding!? I can't name her, I would be fired and banished to cattiness hell for the things I say and think about this woman (aka- spawn of all things elitist and snobby), whose eyes are severely bloodshot at least two times a week from the amount of wine she consumes. Whew...this already feels better. My puffer syndrome begins as soon as I walk in at 8am and she is the only one in the office...we don't even say hello. Once she commented on my "fashion sense" by saying to a fellow co-worker,

Spawn: "Oh,you went shopping and got a new dress, what's it like?"
Co-worker- "It actually reminded me of a Jenny dress..."
Spawn: "Oh, you mean it's really low cut?"

Classic...My co-worker was referring to the sleeve style of the dress, but elitist, alcoholic spawn wanted to get her dig in. I'm sorry Spawn, that you have a chest that is no more developed than a pre-pubescent boy...Sorry for your luck. Anyhow, I digress and I am becoming entirely too catty. As you can imagine, this comment sent my puffer fish syndrome over the edge. Is it jealousy because I'm younger? Does she not like me because I'm too bubbly? I don't get it and it drives me CRAZY when I can't figure out WHY someone doesn't like me. I'm a fixer...I like to figure out what's wrong and FIX it!