But I do have a lot to say about things I have learned about life, love and the importance of friends...and a good glass of wine. Something I have yet to write about...being a divorcee. What a crappy, crappy word. Damaged goods. Failure. This is what I thought. No one ever tells you that your life won't be what you want it to be. Parents and teachers say "Believe in what you want and go get it!" Ok, well...I had a house, a husband, two dogs, a cat and a flat range stove top...which is what I always wanted. I never got a chance to cook on that flat stove top. I chose me. I chose to not pretend like life was perfect and to actually see what would actually happen if I followed my crazy intuition...and more importantly, my heart. This puffer started puffing when I realized that I was losing who I was. I would sing in the shower, only when he wasn't home, and I completely stopped writing. I was forced to listen to punk rock music, rather than the greatness that is hip hop and r&b. Let the puffing begin. It took six years, lots of tears, one wedding, one lawyer, one unlived in house to finally believe in me....and in love. We think about soul mates...we think that there is one person who is put on this planet just for us. But what if we change? What if your soul mate doesn't change with you? Does this mean they aren't your soul mate? And really,if you're in IA and your soul mate is in CA....how in the world are you supposed to meet? Divine Intervention? I believe in tunnells. What is a tunnell? I met a very wise man the day I flew home to be with my parents and get my head clear the day I decided to leave my husband. He possessed 76 years of wisdom and grace and in one hour made me believe in love, and fate. He explained that "a tunnell" is someone who helps you see that there is hope at the end of your journey. The tunnell is not your soul mate...they are simply put in your life to hold your hand and guide you. I had a tunnell. I know many people who have tunnells. My 76 year old guide also taught me to pay attention...pay attention to the way you feel, the people who cross your path and the signs that you're doing the right thing. He took my journal from me, which I had yet to write in, since it had been so long....and he wrote this:
"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
....Annnnd de-puff
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well said jenny....every tunnel has a beginning and an end...i suggest not stopping and walk until the other side has been reached and life can only be brighter on that side!
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