A Conquering Puff.

They say love conquers all. What I want to know is who “they” is and if they were ever in a real relationship. Puff. Romeo and Juliet were in love…and they died…death conquered all, not love. What conquers all is being able to deal with all the real life crapola that is thrown at you in a relationship. This proverbial crapola comes in the forms of ex girlfriends, friends and your significant others less than stellar family members. Puff.
The older we get the more we have to consider that the people who surround the person that we love could potentially become our in laws…and that can be a frightening, frightening thought. How is the guy that you’re totally smitten with possibly the spawn of such a wretched woman? Or how is his brother or sister such a defunct member of society? We’ve all been there. It’s time to meet the parents and while you’re putting together your best outfit for said meeting, you’re also thinking to yourself, “What if they don’t like me?,” or “What if their house is filthy” and of course, “Will these people get along with my family!?” No pressure. Puff.
If these kids were all raised in the same house…by the same parents…how in the effing world did your fella’s sibling end up being such a DISASTER!? No license, no job, no life and sometimes no shower. Holding my nose puff. And while it would be fantastic if the smelly loser sibling were living in California…far, far away…they are, in fact, living 5 miles away and lounging on YOUR couch EVERY Sunday watching football games with your beau. They not only muck off your dream of a perfect little in law family, but then they ask you to hook them up “with any of your hot friends!?” Ick. Puff. Buddy, I wouldn’t hook you up with a prostitute with syphilis for fear that she would be ashamed of you. Puff.
Oh, hello ex girlfriend…ex wife…ex hookup. We hate you. We can pretend to like you because if your relationship hadn’t flopped, we wouldn’t have our current manpiece, or because you mothered the our potential step (or as I like to call them “bonus”) child…but the truth is, we don’t like you…and you reallllly don’t like us. You’re like that ingrown old lady hair that we sometimes grow on our chin (admit it, we all have one!) that no matter how many times we wax, cut, thread or yank out, you keep.coming.back.Puff. Sure we love love love our fella, but we didn’t sign up for this! Puff.
“I don’t care if your friends like me.” Funny, I do. The end.Puff.
Perhaps I am a cynic and I haven’t experienced a love so great that it truly can conquer all, and perhaps it does exist. If love can conquer all, maybe we just take in stride all the things that could potentially conquer love and we conquer acceptance. De-puff.