The Boy Who Cried Puff

We’ve all seen that guy on the dance floor. He makes drunken eye contact with a girl, thrusts his hands back with his imaginary fishing pole…and casts. Then we see said girl flopping like the sorry little fish she is on her imaginary lure and into the “fishermans” grasp….alll while Bel Biv Devoe plays over the club speakers. In real life, not only do we get suckered into the boys ridiculous lure, but there is no Bel Biv Devoe and we can’t even blame our suckerdom on being drunk…and we are typically not wearing sequins (or at least shouldn’t be!). Puff.
A sucker by definition is someone who is easily swayed to believe pretty much anything. I…am a self proclaimed sucker. Puppies, children, Mexican food and guys who tell me they love me have alllll made me their victim. Getting lost in someone’s eyes is a sure fire way to know you’ve been dooped…it’s like you’re lost in a twilight zone of mushiness and there’s no escape. How can we protect ourselves from the person who tells us they are falling in love with us and then two days later break it off “because they’re scared.” Bullshit Puff.
Spiders. Scary. Southie.Scary. Jail.Scary.Skydiving…obviously scary. Love…feeling ooshy gooshy marshmallowey goodness love…NOT EFFING SCARY! Puff. Love is not the scary part. Commitment is the scary part. As overanalyzers, we ladyfollk meet a guy and within 30 minutes have imagined what our kids would look like and have written our new married name in our imaginary notebook in our head at least twice..once in cursive, once in print!Puff. Guys…in the first thirty minutes they picture us naked and they pray to God that they don’t get us preggers. Puff.
Once in a while though, we have a moment of pure bliss where we find ourselves staring into his eyes and he says it… “I think…I’m falling in love with you.” You, of course are elated and before you can even text the majority of your girlfriends, the dude….cries…wolf. Puff. “I love you, but I’m not ready for a relationship.” “You’re the kind of girl I want to marry, but right now…just isn’t a good time for me.” “My career will always come first and that’s just not fair to you.” So many more BS excuses have been spewed from the mouths of said boys that it all sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher by the end of it all.Puff. However, that’s not the worst part! After you’ve cried, drank 2 bottles of wine and scratched his name out of your imaginary notebook and wrote “DICK” over the top….he’s back…he’s “MADE A MISTAKE!” He’s sorry and wants you back. He’s “JUST SCARED.” In the movie version of your life you tell him to eff off while wearing some amazingly put together outfit and walk away with the real prince charming, but in real life, you cry….again…and say, “Ok, but don’t do it again!” Annnnnd repeat! Puff.
The boy who cried wolf…or love…or scaredy pants…whatever it is, we’ve all encountered him. It’s up to us to decide how many times we let him cry wolf and sometimes that requires closing our eyes to the marshmallowey goodness of a hot staring contest. Sometimes it requires remembering just how awesome we really are and that love, while not easy, is no wolf. De-Puff.